Traped in a Love Triangle

A "love triangle" always implies that the arrangement is unsuitable to one or more of the people involved. One person usually ends up feeling betrayed at some point. Unreturned love and jealousy are common themes in love triangles. Though rare, love triangles have been known to lead to murder or suicide committed by the actual or perceived rejected lover.
To be in love with someone who is in a primary relationship or marriage with someone else can be the most excruciating and at the same time the most seemingly beautiful experience of your life.
The experience is excruciating because it is hard to stop or change it. It ensnares you in a situation that you may not be able to get out for a long time, one you may in fact not want to get out of. Your inability to make the situation into exactly what you want makes you suffer.
The experience is beautiful because the person that you are having the relationship with seems like your perfect, ideal partner — your soulmate. There is a very special connection between the two of you. The attention from your loved one and the way he or she feels about you is deeply satisfying. The bond between the two of you seems magical.
In spite of the beauty and the connection in the relationship, you suffer tremendously. It’s as if you are on a roller coaster ride, up one moment and more in love then you have ever been, down the next and in more despair then you have ever felt.
At times you want to leave the situation, but you don’t feel you can – you feel your loved one is “the one”, the intended one for you. Not being able to be together with your “the one” all of the time causes you pain. But when you try to leave, you feel agony. The pain of having a part-time relationship is great, the pain of leaving is even greater. The pain you feel when thinking of leaving or trying to leave reaffirms to you that your loved on is in fact “the one”.
You are suffering because this love feels like your only chance at the kind of love that everyone dreams about. Even more, it’s hard to imagine being in a relationship and being satisfied with anyone else.

And so you are trapped.

All of your needs are not getting met in your relationship, yet all the while you are not free, nor do you want to be free, to get them met elsewhere. In fact, you don’t think there could be or will be anyone else to meet your needs in such a way again, to love you this well.
What if there can be love even deeper than your feelings now, a love where you share ordinary moments with a special person, instead of only special moments stolen in secret?
Start to wonder if the whole package of your needs could be met in another relationship. People do find happy, fulfilling, loving primary relationships.
When the suffering about being alone yet again, at night or on holidays, gets going, focus on the fact that in the future you will have a loving relationship where your needs will be met.
If you need to, say to yourself a thousand times that you will be happy, your heart will be happy and all of your needs will be met. You just don’t know by whom yet.

Living in the backwards lane

Let me warn you right now that I am just ranting, well sort of, in this post. Not everything I will type is logical to everyone but at this moment it makes sense to me.
Why is it that we live life backwards? When we are young we have no money and we have no wisdom, yet we make some of the most important decsion about our future during our first couple decades of life. Then we spend the rest of our life dealing with the mistakes we have made during a time when we let hormones and emotions control our thinking. We need money for education and physical development and maintenace. By physical development and maintenance I mean the medical/dental/eye expenses in addition to the nutrition and physical fitness counseling/training we should all start off with to become healthy people. Do you know how many illnesses we as Americans could avoid if we just were taught how to take care of ourselves better? I mean SERIOUSLY think about that! Our older years wouldn't be so hard if we just prepared better for them.
Although we are probably the strongest and most physically fit during the first half of our lifetime and probably more capable of hard labor, quicker reflexes and response time and better able to enduring long shifts and meet deadlines to earn wages, those are the years when we need to create a home and invest time in our family. You can't do that when you are at work for 8-10 hours each day and so full of stress and so low on sleep that you just go through the motions of daily routines. Children need our undivided attention and love to develop fully and in the most positive way. Not to mention that healthier people would probably (in most cases) produce more healthy offspring. When we are older we are more settled and have more time on our hands for some of the things we sacrifice raising our children for. We start off with small apartments then on to a small house and move into a larger home for the growing family and then when it's just down to two we have a huge house and only need a small apartment.

It just all seems backwards to me.

so THAT'S why

I got an answer to some questions. Ever have that happen, a lot of questions answered by one single response or action? It has happened to me and I must say that I am somewhat relieved.
I just learned why this nameless person (I want to protect thier identity so don't ask)that I have not known for a long time has made a life changing decision. Okay I am sure most of my readers(dare I pretend I have any)know that I have a Christian based belief. I may not bring it up a lot as to not offend many of you but I am proud to say that I am a Christian and am a member of a Baptist Church. Having said this, my concerns for this person, lets call them Sam,(so from this point on I will refer to them as Sam)my concerns for Sam have been increasingly bothersome. I thought Sam was a Christian when I met them, I had placed my trust in them because of this belief. When thier actions verred away from that of a Christian I was alarmed each time they displayed more dishonesty or deceptive behavior. Don't get me wrong, I know that Christians are human and make mistakes but not usually so many so easily without having gone to a dark place within themselves and blatantly turning thier back on God. I was worried that Sam was a distirbed individual and was enraged that one of my children was becoming involved and wasn't just as alarmed as I was at Sam's behavior.
My prayers for Sam changed over time from asking for general guidance to pleading for confrontation and awareness of sin in thier life. I was worried about drugs and alcohol because I couldn't understand how a Christian youth could become so off track without the aid of chemical addiction.
I am relieved to learn that Sam is now a Christian and that Sam's behavior was infact appropriate for anyone that doesn't have Jesus as thier beacon and nothing more. I look forward to getting to know this new Sam and will pray even more for them as Satan will begin to attack with avengance.

My life sucks

Why does everything happen to me? I'm a good person, right? I believe in God, pray, give to charity, show up for school/work everyday, so why does my life have to suck?

Ever have those times? I do, I bet you do too.
Wake up in the morning and remember a deadline that you had forgotten, get to school/work to realize you forgot to brush your teeth, now you have morning breath. GREAT! Oh look here comes the one person in the whole building that will notice, you know the kind they always say things like, "Um what's wrong with you, leave your brain at home today?" or "Look it's the President of the Loser's club." Yeah they will definitely notice that you forgot to brush your teeth especially since they are headed right in your direction. Oh and the thing you forgot this morning was the tickets they gave you money to buy last week, because you work for Ticket Master and they never have the spare time to get the tickets themselves. Seems you have a lot of "friends" like that. What you really hate is when they don't give you enough money and expect you to get them some kind of discount. Then once you've told them you left the tickets at home and even thought you promised to hand deliver them first thing this afternoon the jerk shoves you so hard you drop your papers, laptop and spilled your frappacino all down your front. As the roar of laughter swirls around you the only thing you can think of is how much you want to just disappear.
Had days like that? Yeah me too.
How about that relationship that just ended? Those are always hard to get over. I mean you try your best to show them how much you love them, you do everything they ask you to and all they do is break your heart for someone new. What was wrong with you, did you look good enough? You sure did in the beginning, right, because they could keep their hands off of you. Wasn't you funny enough, they always used to laugh at your jokes, but then all you started hearing was, "Shut up stupid. Why do I hang around with you anyway." Was you too fat? Too Thin? Not Popular enough, too popular? What was it that drove them away. Is this new person really better than you? What is so special about them? What do they have to offer that you don't? It just makes you want to lock yourself in your room and never, ever come out.
What about those times, huh? They are really tough to get past. A lot of times you think about how much easier it would be to just go away and never come back. But you can't. If you have any heart at all, regardless if it's broken or locked in a stone cage, you can't leave the ones that love you. Oh sure you might not think that anyone loves you at the moment, but deep down you know that your parents love you, your family loves you. How will they feel?
That is what has always kept me going during those times of despair. Some people believe that no one will miss them, but I know for a fact that any parent, grandparent, brother or sister would be heartbroken if they lost a child, a grandchild, a sibling. Regardless of what life brings, how hard it hits me, how much I want to curl up and die I know I can't because too may people would be sad. Oh I don't doubt there would be a few that would be glad but they don't matter to me. I only care about those that care about me, and you should too.
If you are reading this and feel like you have no one to turn to, you are wrong. Call your parent(s), grandparents, an aunt or uncle, a brother or a sister, call a friend or just call out to God. Someone is always there, someone who understands how you feel and is ready to help you, they always have helped me. Don't run away from the ones that love you.

"What's Love Got To Do With It"

Why do immature hearts think that physical attraction is love?
Why do harmones cause so much emotional pain?


This song, sang by Tina Turner, says it all.

You must understand
That the touch of your hand
Makes my pulse react
That it's only the thrill
Of boy meeting girl
Opposites attract

It's physical
Only logical
You must try to ignore
That it means more than that

Oh whats love got to do, got to do with it
What's love but a second hand emotion
What's love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken

It may seem to you
That I'm acting confused
When you're close to me
If i tend to look dazed
I've read it someplace
I've got cause to be

There's a name for it
There's a phrase that fits
But whatever the reason
You do it for me

I've been taking on a new direction
But i have to say
I've been thinking about my own protection
It scares me to feel this way

What's love got to do, got to do with it
What's love but a sweet old fashioned notion
What's love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken

A Mother's love

Mothers have been known to say they would step in front of a bullet to save the life of their children. Numerous animals act in very similar ways. This can be more than a mother's choice but something known as maternal aggression, the biological basis of the behavior is not well understood. New research findings have shown that levels of a specific peptide in the brain could answer the question of what makes a mother willing to lay down her life for her offspring. They protect their young so they can grow and adapt to their surroundings. Also, to help them eat and to hunt. Humans do that too just with a little bit different goal in mind. Instead of hunting for food we want them to survive the rat race, the stresses of the mordern world.

Mother bears will fight to the death to protect their young, they can usually chase off much bigger males with ease, but if death is what it takes they are willing to make that sacrifice to save thier cubs. Mother lionesses are very protective of their cubs. Nearly nothing could overpower a lioness that is intent on protecting her young. Human mothers can be just as dangerous when they feel that thier daughters or sons need protecting. Many years ago a mother lured away a man that had sexual intentions for her daughter by offering herself as bait. The young lady was saved from what could have been a very emotionally scaring situation. In 2009 a mother beat up a sex offender that was targeting her daughter. The mother went to jail for it but says that she would do it again if it meant saving her daughter from harm. Other mothers will ask questions of friends to find out if they have the wrong intentions before they let thier daughter or son spend too much time with them. Sometimes a mother has to "interfere" to save thier child from making bad choices, there are times when an intervention is required. I have known families to be pulled apart because of immature actions, just as a cub might wander off while "moma" is off hunting and find themself face to face with a pack of wild animals. A mother's wrath can be harsh but is sometimes needed and always worth it in the end.

Call it affection. Call it genetic programming. Whatever you call it, the bond between mother and offspring is singular and unyielding. It doesn't matter how those outside that bond feel or react, a mother's love is stronger and more powerful than any other love......ANY other love.

The Wrong Kind

Why do good girls want the wrong kind of boy? I just don't understand it. I've lived it myself and I still don't understand it. It's like a magnet drawing you in, a force you can't stop.
Ladies love Outlaws..
....
Ladies love outlaws like babies love stray dogs
Ladies touch babies like a banker touches gold
And outlaws touch the ladies
Somewhere deep down in their soul...
.....
this was a popular song for the first time when I was just a small kid, although many have recorded it since then. Why does the guy that breaks the rules, makes the most noise, start the most fights, rebels authority, demands his way and mistreats his lover get all the girls? This just doesn't seem right to me. Although I will admit that I once was attracted to that kind of guy too, heck I still wouldn't mind to sail the seas with Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp's character creation).
I've known too many young ladies that believe within thier soul that THEY will be THE ONE that tames the outlaw. The just KNOW that he will change his ways to be with her, she will be the one he has been searching the world over for and alas he will be satisfied and will cling to her and only her forever.
Unfortunately this never happens except for in fairy tales. It seems the worse he treats her the more she wants him. He pushes her aside time and time again but she just keeps coming back for more of the same treatment. WHY? The poor thing only ends up being used and tossed aside like a water bottle, used today and either left in a landfill for ever or recycled into something else usable. She is left eithr dead because that is the only way he can rid himself of her or so humiliated she wishes she were dead. Most of the time she feels unworthy and hopeless because he doesn't love her anymore. She blames herself for not being what he wanted, she gave up her dignity, her pride, her future, everything she had going for her to please him but it was never enough.
If she could only realize that she could never become what he wanted because he just wanted...someone else....someone new...someone he had not destroyed yet. Just like a child that wants the toy another kid has. More, more, more..it never stops for this kind of person. Girls are like that too sometimes, usually after they have been mistreated by a user and abuser, they become one too. Consuming everything and everyone they can, searching and searching, looking for the person they were before he came along. Before he gave her that look, that stare that made her burn inside. That uncomfortable feeling that made her long to be held in his arms, kissed madly and loved like an animal. That's what is has made her.....an animal, an animal that prowls for her dignity, her happiness, her sanity.<

Heartless?

Okay I will admit to many things but being heartless is not one of them. Why do some people think of me that way? I realize that I am not a highly emotional person, easily offended person, touchy-feely kind of person and I don't consider myself a romantic person either but heartless I am not. I would go to the extent of saying that I am a passionate person, even a dramatic person I just don't understand why people think I'm heartless.
I don't like Taylor Swift songs, I don't get into romance novels, I can't understand what girls like about getting cards and flowers but there is a heart that beats in my chest. Tough life experiences may have hardened it a little but none the less I do have one.
I once felt the tingle in my spine when I saw him, I faught the urge to throw my arms in the air and shout when asked me out. In fact I couldn't stop smiling for hours on end just thinking about the fun times we had together. But once I found out that he had lied to me, went behind my back to do forbidden things and said things that hurt me or embarassed me; it was over. It took a long time for me to move on, but I did. I found someone else and they manipulated me and once they were ready to move on to someone new, they just dumped me and expected me to hit the ground running on with my life. My hurt feelings meant nothing to him. This pattern continued until I wised up and started learning that my heart didn't belong on my sleeve, it belonged in the intermost part of me where it would be protected from harm.
That is why guys don't get hurt so easily, they don't put themselves out there and take themselves so seriously in a relationship. So I started thinking more like a guy, that's all. I never had my heart removed as some people think, I just changed the way I precieve people and situations. I am more realistic and practical. the only time I think in fantasy and dreams is when I am on vacation at Disney World, then I let myself go.

Bossy Parents

Who needs bossy parents anyway? Why do parents have to be bossy? For example, I'm just getting home from school all I want to do is grab a soda and head out the door to ride my bike over to our secret hangout and be with my friends. Then I remember the bag of Funions in the cabinet so as I was reaching for them my mom came in the kitchen and said, "What are you doing young lady?" I sighed loudly because I knew what was coming, the same thing that happens every time I want to take snacks to the hangout. I mumbled, "Nothin' Mom" closed the cabinet door and pushed past her as I headed to the front door. Then she yells, "And where are you going? Don't you have some kind of studying to do?" I call over my shoulder as I open the door, "Not really, bye" and shut the door behind me. I hurry to my bike and take off down the street. When I get to the hangout all my friends are there munching on Doritos that Kim had brought from her kitchen. They always have the best stuff, I love going to their house because they can do anything they want. I always have to do the dishes and clean my room, do my homework, help with supper, blah, blah blah. Why do I have to do that stuff when it ain't even my house, you know how parents are ALWAYS reminding ya' that it's THEIR roof you live under, so why do I have to take care of it? Why can't they just let me have fun? Why do I have to do anything that I don't want to do. Teachers boss me around all day long and then I come home and my parents boss me around until I go to sleep, they even tell me when I gotta' do that. I will be glad when I am my own boss, I'm moving outta' this place and doing exactly what I want, when I want and that's how it's gonna' be.

Ever feel that way? I sure do, even now that I am a mother of three kids. I want to move out and do what I WANT TO DO for once. I am adult why can't I?
Keep getting older, you'll see.

Love struck

When you fall in love in High School the world stops existing. The only thing that matters is you and your love. Your entire being revolves around that love and the person you are in love with. Your thoughts are always on what your love is thinking about, are they thinking about you and wondering what you are thinking. It's like when you have to depart in the hallway to go to class you look back one more time to see if they are looking back at you to see if you are looking back to see if they are looking back too. It's all hearts and sunshine, x's and o's, I love you forever's and I'll do anything for your love kinda stuff. Your love is so precious and sweet and everlasting, there is no doubt in your mind that this is the one you are going to marry, the one who's kids you will parent..that you know for sure. How could your parents or any other adult not understand how serious your love is. You will never ever stop loving your love and will never, ever, ever end up like your parents. You will be 90 years old and still get the thrill of holding hands in the park or kissing under the stars.
This is the thoughts of a young woman in love. Almost every young woman that has ever been in love feels this way and nearly half of the sensitive young men. The rest of them are just thinking about sex, what they have to do to get it and who is willing to give it to them.
Unfortunatly the young ladies will give the young men what they want in hopes of feeling the love they want. They practive writing thier first and middle name with his last name, first they print it then they write it in cursive. They create baby names for thier children. They want to be important to him, as important as he is to her.
Why do girls get so love struck?