I got an answer to some questions. Ever have that happen, a lot of questions answered by one single response or action? It has happened to me and I must say that I am somewhat relieved.
I just learned why this nameless person (I want to protect thier identity so don't ask)that I have not known for a long time has made a life changing decision. Okay I am sure most of my readers(dare I pretend I have any)know that I have a Christian based belief. I may not bring it up a lot as to not offend many of you but I am proud to say that I am a Christian and am a member of a Baptist Church. Having said this, my concerns for this person, lets call them Sam,(so from this point on I will refer to them as Sam)my concerns for Sam have been increasingly bothersome. I thought Sam was a Christian when I met them, I had placed my trust in them because of this belief. When thier actions verred away from that of a Christian I was alarmed each time they displayed more dishonesty or deceptive behavior. Don't get me wrong, I know that Christians are human and make mistakes but not usually so many so easily without having gone to a dark place within themselves and blatantly turning thier back on God. I was worried that Sam was a distirbed individual and was enraged that one of my children was becoming involved and wasn't just as alarmed as I was at Sam's behavior.
My prayers for Sam changed over time from asking for general guidance to pleading for confrontation and awareness of sin in thier life. I was worried about drugs and alcohol because I couldn't understand how a Christian youth could become so off track without the aid of chemical addiction.
I am relieved to learn that Sam is now a Christian and that Sam's behavior was infact appropriate for anyone that doesn't have Jesus as thier beacon and nothing more. I look forward to getting to know this new Sam and will pray even more for them as Satan will begin to attack with avengance.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
My life sucks
Why does everything happen to me? I'm a good person, right? I believe in God, pray, give to charity, show up for school/work everyday, so why does my life have to suck?
Ever have those times? I do, I bet you do too.
Wake up in the morning and remember a deadline that you had forgotten, get to school/work to realize you forgot to brush your teeth, now you have morning breath. GREAT! Oh look here comes the one person in the whole building that will notice, you know the kind they always say things like, "Um what's wrong with you, leave your brain at home today?" or "Look it's the President of the Loser's club." Yeah they will definitely notice that you forgot to brush your teeth especially since they are headed right in your direction. Oh and the thing you forgot this morning was the tickets they gave you money to buy last week, because you work for Ticket Master and they never have the spare time to get the tickets themselves. Seems you have a lot of "friends" like that. What you really hate is when they don't give you enough money and expect you to get them some kind of discount. Then once you've told them you left the tickets at home and even thought you promised to hand deliver them first thing this afternoon the jerk shoves you so hard you drop your papers, laptop and spilled your frappacino all down your front. As the roar of laughter swirls around you the only thing you can think of is how much you want to just disappear.
Had days like that? Yeah me too.
How about that relationship that just ended? Those are always hard to get over. I mean you try your best to show them how much you love them, you do everything they ask you to and all they do is break your heart for someone new. What was wrong with you, did you look good enough? You sure did in the beginning, right, because they could keep their hands off of you. Wasn't you funny enough, they always used to laugh at your jokes, but then all you started hearing was, "Shut up stupid. Why do I hang around with you anyway." Was you too fat? Too Thin? Not Popular enough, too popular? What was it that drove them away. Is this new person really better than you? What is so special about them? What do they have to offer that you don't? It just makes you want to lock yourself in your room and never, ever come out.
What about those times, huh? They are really tough to get past. A lot of times you think about how much easier it would be to just go away and never come back. But you can't. If you have any heart at all, regardless if it's broken or locked in a stone cage, you can't leave the ones that love you. Oh sure you might not think that anyone loves you at the moment, but deep down you know that your parents love you, your family loves you. How will they feel?
That is what has always kept me going during those times of despair. Some people believe that no one will miss them, but I know for a fact that any parent, grandparent, brother or sister would be heartbroken if they lost a child, a grandchild, a sibling. Regardless of what life brings, how hard it hits me, how much I want to curl up and die I know I can't because too may people would be sad. Oh I don't doubt there would be a few that would be glad but they don't matter to me. I only care about those that care about me, and you should too.
If you are reading this and feel like you have no one to turn to, you are wrong. Call your parent(s), grandparents, an aunt or uncle, a brother or a sister, call a friend or just call out to God. Someone is always there, someone who understands how you feel and is ready to help you, they always have helped me. Don't run away from the ones that love you.
Ever have those times? I do, I bet you do too.
Wake up in the morning and remember a deadline that you had forgotten, get to school/work to realize you forgot to brush your teeth, now you have morning breath. GREAT! Oh look here comes the one person in the whole building that will notice, you know the kind they always say things like, "Um what's wrong with you, leave your brain at home today?" or "Look it's the President of the Loser's club." Yeah they will definitely notice that you forgot to brush your teeth especially since they are headed right in your direction. Oh and the thing you forgot this morning was the tickets they gave you money to buy last week, because you work for Ticket Master and they never have the spare time to get the tickets themselves. Seems you have a lot of "friends" like that. What you really hate is when they don't give you enough money and expect you to get them some kind of discount. Then once you've told them you left the tickets at home and even thought you promised to hand deliver them first thing this afternoon the jerk shoves you so hard you drop your papers, laptop and spilled your frappacino all down your front. As the roar of laughter swirls around you the only thing you can think of is how much you want to just disappear.
Had days like that? Yeah me too.
How about that relationship that just ended? Those are always hard to get over. I mean you try your best to show them how much you love them, you do everything they ask you to and all they do is break your heart for someone new. What was wrong with you, did you look good enough? You sure did in the beginning, right, because they could keep their hands off of you. Wasn't you funny enough, they always used to laugh at your jokes, but then all you started hearing was, "Shut up stupid. Why do I hang around with you anyway." Was you too fat? Too Thin? Not Popular enough, too popular? What was it that drove them away. Is this new person really better than you? What is so special about them? What do they have to offer that you don't? It just makes you want to lock yourself in your room and never, ever come out.
What about those times, huh? They are really tough to get past. A lot of times you think about how much easier it would be to just go away and never come back. But you can't. If you have any heart at all, regardless if it's broken or locked in a stone cage, you can't leave the ones that love you. Oh sure you might not think that anyone loves you at the moment, but deep down you know that your parents love you, your family loves you. How will they feel?
That is what has always kept me going during those times of despair. Some people believe that no one will miss them, but I know for a fact that any parent, grandparent, brother or sister would be heartbroken if they lost a child, a grandchild, a sibling. Regardless of what life brings, how hard it hits me, how much I want to curl up and die I know I can't because too may people would be sad. Oh I don't doubt there would be a few that would be glad but they don't matter to me. I only care about those that care about me, and you should too.
If you are reading this and feel like you have no one to turn to, you are wrong. Call your parent(s), grandparents, an aunt or uncle, a brother or a sister, call a friend or just call out to God. Someone is always there, someone who understands how you feel and is ready to help you, they always have helped me. Don't run away from the ones that love you.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
"What's Love Got To Do With It"
Why do immature hearts think that physical attraction is love?
Why do harmones cause so much emotional pain?
This song, sang by Tina Turner, says it all.
You must understand
That the touch of your hand
Makes my pulse react
That it's only the thrill
Of boy meeting girl
Opposites attract
It's physical
Only logical
You must try to ignore
That it means more than that
Oh whats love got to do, got to do with it
What's love but a second hand emotion
What's love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken
It may seem to you
That I'm acting confused
When you're close to me
If i tend to look dazed
I've read it someplace
I've got cause to be
There's a name for it
There's a phrase that fits
But whatever the reason
You do it for me
I've been taking on a new direction
But i have to say
I've been thinking about my own protection
It scares me to feel this way
What's love got to do, got to do with it
What's love but a sweet old fashioned notion
What's love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken
Why do harmones cause so much emotional pain?
This song, sang by Tina Turner, says it all.
You must understand
That the touch of your hand
Makes my pulse react
That it's only the thrill
Of boy meeting girl
Opposites attract
It's physical
Only logical
You must try to ignore
That it means more than that
Oh whats love got to do, got to do with it
What's love but a second hand emotion
What's love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken
It may seem to you
That I'm acting confused
When you're close to me
If i tend to look dazed
I've read it someplace
I've got cause to be
There's a name for it
There's a phrase that fits
But whatever the reason
You do it for me
I've been taking on a new direction
But i have to say
I've been thinking about my own protection
It scares me to feel this way
What's love got to do, got to do with it
What's love but a sweet old fashioned notion
What's love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
