In Rememberance

I guess since Saturday was Halloween and it was Melissa Shaw's birthday my thoughts have been on the remembrance of loved ones lost. I heard several of her friends say things about her as a way of remembering how she was, but I also know of some of her friends that mourned the loss of her all over again on her birthday. Unfortunately some even used it as an excuse to get out of responsibilities (which is NOT something she would have wanted) but I also know that many continued on in their duties, some wearing a camouflaged ribbon pinned over their heart, to honor her commitment and devotion. I am proud of those that carry on, not forgetting or making light of her death but continuing steadfastly as she would have done herself.
I can remember when my Grandpap died, I didn't go to his funeral which shocked a lot of people. I had three young children at the time and I had been to West Virginia to visit him just months before and I knew that was the last time I would see him. We talked about God and his beliefs and I knew that he would be okay with me wanting to hold on to our visit in the hospital as my final memory of him. I want to remember the good times we had together and don't see a need to be mournful when I think about him.
Why is it that some people have to make death such an ordeal? Why do people believe the more elaborate the funeral the more the person who has dies was loved? Why is it that some people feel the must make a scene at the funeral and days and days after the burial? Some people may just need to mourn openly and dramatically I guess, I am not that way. I have always believed that the only death that should be mourned greatly is the death of a soul that is bound for Hell. I know that may sound harsh to some but this is how I feel and this is why I feel that way; anyone that has died and is going to Heaven is NOT suffering, NOT sad, NOT even missing those they left behind. Sure we miss them and wish we had more time to make memories and share good times with them but if they are in Heaven they are better off, no matter what any of us think at the time of their death. One moment they are here and the next moment they are in the presence of God. How could I be sad for them? How could I cry for THEM, even if they had a short life here on Earth; is it fair of me to wish them back? If I do it is only for selfish reasons, not for their benefit only for mine.

I hope that when my time on Earth is over my loved ones will not waste money, time and energy on elaborate material efforts to show they miss me. I hope they will perform the basic customs that will comfort them, I sure won't care anymore about what happens to my flesh. I, my soul/who I REALLY am, will be with God in Heaven looking forward to the time when everyone can enjoy being there. When my family and friends that are still on Earth once I have left think of me I hope they can remember things they learned from me that has helped them in life. I hope that when anyone would want to honor me it will be with happiness and enjoyment not in sorrow and tears. I won't be sad so don't dare be sad for me.